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Betty's Palm Reading and Car Inspection.

2007-10-14

Being Bipolar is full of the unexpected. Like the time the birds told me to turn the backyard into and estuary, they also wanted me to paint pictures of them with my own paint made from berries and tree bark. That one ended in a hospitalization. Oh, and the time I had and itch on my leg that I scratched until it was bleeding. Another hospitalization. Or the time lighting myself on fire seemed like a good idea. You guessed it, hospitalization.

All in all since April when I was diagnosed there have been four hospitalizations, 23 different medications and 3 manic episodes. It has been a bit of a battle.

I'm 24 years old, married and live in a college town in Texas. It's not UT. Or Tech. The other one. The one where the color that is not quite red and not quite brown is permanently plastered on every building, T-shirt and flip flop. Think of Lassie dogs. Until recently, April, I was a nursing student. That is no more. I have not clue what to do with myself now. I have always been driven, focused and goal oriented. Now I see my Psychiatrist once a month, my Therapist every other week and take my meds three times a day. My Psychiatrist likes to call me "My little borderline," as I am also diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder. How sweet.

My friend Charlotte says I'm doing better. I feel better, but not the same. I kind of doubt that I will ever feel exactly the way I used to. Maybe that is a good thing. Now I live more in the moment, because I never know when thing will take a swing up or down. I'm much more aware of my thoughts and feelings, scanning them for clues (Is that manic-y?). I sleep more and have dreams more vivid than I can explain. Things are just different. I'm learning to accept that. Wish me luck, Okay?

Fun facts from Betty's almanac: I was driving through Austin the other day and I saw a sign that said, "Palm Readings and Car Inspections." Why did I not think of that?

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Barnabus (2007-10-14)
Palm reading!! haha reminded me of a time I went to one of those... knowing how they work, I resolved to give no information...whdda disaster!! "I see a J do you have someone in your life with that letter?" no and on it went..in the end she only charged me 5.00 instead of 10!! Sorry about that bipolar stuff!!! hope you can keep it controlled with meds, but I guess it ain't no picnic!!!

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